Catharsis
by b-mystique
Summary: It was just like Harvey to want something, to need something, and to project it on those around him. Because Harvey Specter doesn't need. She understood it. For two hours, she could just breathe, and be Jessica and he could be Harvey and they could just….be. . For two hours, they could just be free. Post Zane v. Zane.


_**A/N:**__ Just a random one-shot. Post Zane V. Zane. I loved the lightheartedness between those two in the episode with their battle of the movie quotes and usual exchange of snarky banter. Things will undoubtedly get a bit more serious tonight with Hardman coming back. I can't wait. _

_**Disclaimer:**__ Don't own 'em. Just borrow 'em. Unbetaed, errors are my own. I apologize if there are many; I blame it on the pounding headache. _

~~~o~~~

"You know, you've been staring at the same page for the past five minutes. Would you like me to tell you what that says about you?"

She shuffled the papers in front of her and leaned back into the couch, reluctantly amused. Bright brown eyes rose to meet Harvey's deep chocolate ones, that boyish grin of his widened. "And you've been staring at me for the past five minutes, so what does that say about you?"

His grin faltered, almost imperceptibly if not for the years she spent familiarizing herself with his mannerisms. "You knew I was here."

"I always do," she quipped smugly. She watched the devilish smirk return as he leaned against the doorframe, his head canted to the side, studying her in that way he does that makes her wonder what could possibly be going on in the depths of his mind. A moment passed, and then another as an uncomfortable shiver worked itself through her body, under his penetrating gaze. She was just about to break the silence, when he beat her to it.

"I missed this," he said quietly.

His dark eyes never left hers, and there was vulnerability behind the intensity in them. His voice textured with sincerity that she couldn't quite make sense of. She was startled at the randomness of his proclamation, confused as to what he was referring to, and a small twinge of concern flickered through her as she watched him.

"What do you…" she paused, distracted by the gleam of mischief in his eyes as he looked down the hall both ways before confidently stepping completely into her office and grinning. His hands were still behind his back and she craned her neck to see what was behind him. "Harvey?" she wondered, not hiding the suspicion and apprehension she felt at his covert behavior. She raised her brow expectantly, curiosity piqued as his grin continued to enhance his roguish features.

"This is a sales pitch, it's not going to be won by law, it's going to be won by lawyers," he whispered conspiratorially.

This time she didn't bother to hide her smile. He chuckled at the recognition that surely flashed across her face, before she composed herself. He waited expectantly for a response, any sort of response, and she was reminded of the game they started so long ago, that she doesn't even quite recall how it all began. Her reaction must have pleased him, because his shoulders relaxed more and he took another step into her office, hands still behind his back, waiting.

She wracked her brain for something suitable, and he narrowed his eyes impatiently, refusing to go any further until she came up with something. "The only thing I have to eat is Yoohoo and Cocoa Puffs, so if you want anything else, bring it with you." She said after a beat.

"Nice!" he chuckled as he tossed the DVD on the table in front of her. "Oh, and I did." He dropped a microwave bag of popcorn into her lap and sat a couple of beers on the table. "You still keep the bowl in the same place," he called over his shoulder as he rummaged through her desk drawers.

"Does it matter, since you're going through my shit anyways?" She kicked her shoes off and curled up on the sofa, firing up the laptop and placing the disc in as she waited for it to load. "A Few Good Men? Really?"

She cracked the beers open and looked up to see Harvey standing next to the couch. He had taken his suit jacket off and slung it over the back. His tie was loose around his neck, untied and dangling, and a couple of buttons of his dress shirt were unfastened. She raised a perfectly arched brow at him, as he toed off his dress shoes.

"What?" he asked, humor lacing his voice as he poured the bag of popcorn into the gold bowl, one of them, she can't recall who, stole it from Louis' office a few years ago.

"Comfortable are we?" she wisecracked, her voice laced with all the sarcasm she could muster as she tried her best to not laugh at his expression.

He didn't say anything at first, only flopped on the couch next to her, his arm thrown over the back of the couch, his feet propped up on her coffee table. "Now I am, yeah."

Some days she didn't know if she wanted to smack the perpetual smirk off of his face or just laugh. Today she opted for laughter, because if Harvey didn't do anything else for her, he amused her. To no end, really. She very seldom found herself engaging with anyone who had a grasp on her unexpected and warped sense of humor, but he always did. If she allowed herself to really let that sink in, she'd say it made her feel less alone.

"We haven't done this in a while…" she observed quietly. She felt his body tense up beside hers, but when she brought her gaze up to meet his, he was all solid walls graffiti-ed with humorous caricatures and arrogant wisecracks. He was Harvey, being Harvey. Shielding her from whatever he was really thinking, whatever he was feeling.

"Not since that last time a couple of years ago wh-"

"Yeah, let's not talk about that," she interrupted him. She was surprised at the full blown laugh that rumbled through him at her response. It was hearty and robust, and yet there was something behind it that made her skin tingle. There was something to the distant look in his eyes that put her on alert. She bit her lip, studied him for all that she could. Tried her best to see beyond what was on the surface. He must have sensed it; he shifted in his spot under her scrutiny. His jaw appeared tight, his eyes a little harder, as he avoided her gaze.

"So why now?" She asked noncommittally as she took a long pull of her beer. She felt his eyes on her, searching, probing, but she didn't give into meeting his gaze.

"I felt like you needed it," he said simply.

Her eyes snapped to his as she opened her mouth to speak. She thought better of it, as it would have been futile. It was just like Harvey to want something, to need something, and to project it on those around him. Because Harvey Specter doesn't _need_. Needing implied a level of weakness that he couldn't afford to have. No matter how often she told him otherwise, he wouldn't quite take that piece of advice to heart. She merely hummed in response.

"Okay, I felt like_ I _needed it, like…_we_ needed it," his dark orbs met hers for a moment, willing her to understand what he meant without having to actually say the words himself. Hoping that the kinship they had, that unusual dynamic of theirs that didn't require the words, could kick in and save him from feeling too vulnerable. "I felt like we needed… a moment."

A sudden sadness washed over her as his words sunk in. He glanced at her in short intervals, trying his hardest to mask the discomfort he felt under the weight of her stare. She flashed him a soft smile and gave a slight nod, feeling and hearing the sigh of relief he expelled beside her. She understood it. She understood him. There was so much going on at the firm, Louis, Hardman, Allison, and Zane. They were unraveling at the edges no matter how hard he and she were working to keep everything held together. And they hadn't been faring so well themselves. Their relationship was strained, and had been for a while, ever since she found out about Mike. They hadn't had a chance to really work on that, to rekindle that connection that they had. A chance to fix that genuine and authentic bond that they had forged over years of being colleagues, and partners…of being friends. Or whatever it is she'd classify them as, because God knew that she herself never fully understood the intricate relationship that she and Harvey shared. No, for the past few months they had been functioning solely off of being tethered together as allies. She knew he felt disconnected from her, she knew he could sense the waver in the trust that she had in him, could sense the doubts that Daniel implanted into her brain, that she tried damn hard to fight off, but remnants of it still lingered. Harvey was nothing if not perceptive.

It wasn't as though they could go back to being the way they used to be. Back when she didn't have a lingering of doubt in trusting him implicitly. It wasn't as though they could go back to when he actively did whatever it took to not disappoint her. Back when he consulted her with everything and they were in sync. He wanted them to be whole again. He wanted them to be back at the place where their friendship was more than just covering each other's asses. He wanted to get back to when he didn't know that she didn't see him as partner material…yet, and he didn't see her as too accommodating and cautious. And she was proud of him rather than saddled with him being this liability. He wanted that friction that slowly crept between them in the past few months to be gone. And when she thought about it, the past couple of days had been the first in a while that they were back to themselves, reciting movie quotes and plotting like two teenagers.

She understood it. For two hours, they didn't have to think about how much of a liability Mike Ross was. For two hours, they didn't have to worry about being two steps ahead of Hardman. They didn't have to tiptoe around Louis' feelings, or go back on their word. They didn't have to worry about the dwindling client list, and the expenses that went along with it. They didn't have to wonder about the other partners and playing nice with adversaries. They didn't have to look over their shoulders and wonder who was standing with them or who was standing against them. For two hours, the firm wasn't in jeopardy and a merger was unthinkable, and Harvey wasn't sore or confused about being her partner in crime but not her partner. She didn't have to wonder if the line between his professional and personal was getting too blurry. For two hours, she didn't have to wonder if he was going over the precipice and dragging her and the firm kicking and screaming along with him. For two hours, she didn't have to hold it all together, clean up messes, play politics or think For two hours, she could just breathe, and be Jessica and he could be Harvey and they could just….be.

"You wanted the truth," he said quietly, a slow smirk pulling at his lips.

"I can handle the truth," she glanced out the side of her eye as she sipped on her beer again. "So why'd you choose 'A Few Good Men'?"

"I don't know, seemed fitting…"

"It was the first movie you pulled out wasn't it?" She smiled knowingly.

"Yeah, pretty much," he relented. "So are we going to watch the movie or what?"

She stopped smiling suddenly and she could see how the sudden shift had caused him to feel uneasy again. He masked the concern, fear, and confusion behind a solid, stoic expression but the air between them had suddenly gone tense. She smiled inwardly, thinking of just how much he brought out the mischievous side in her. She leaned in, closing the distance between them suddenly, relishing the shocked expression that graced his features before it was replaced with the confidence she was accustomed too and a raised brow, she could only read as "Challenge accepted". Just when he almost appeared as though he would lean towards her, she dropped her hand to his lap and grabbed a handful of popcorn out of the bowl, popping a few buttery kernels into her mouth. "Press play, kid."

"Jessica Pearson. Minx," he teased, as he let out a breath and chuckled.

"Don't you know it," she countered.

She felt warm and a bit proud that they were finally at ease, because it was the first time in a long time that they had been. She ignored the popcorn kernels that flew across the couch and ended up in her hair, and he rolled his eyes as she expressed how physically appealing Tom Cruise was. The silence that fell over them was a comfortable one.

She cracked her eyes open, only to discover that she had apparently fallen asleep. Her hair was in her face, and she was curled up on the couch. She didn't know how she ended up lying on Harvey's shoulder, the crispness of his shirt felt rough against her cheek; the lingering scent of aftershave tickled her nose. His arm was resting on her side, his fingers unconsciously toying with loose threads on the blanket wrapped around her waist. She wondered how it got there, or when Harvey was able to put it on her. The intimacy of the moment stirred up numberless feelings that she couldn't quite sort through, discomfort, embarrassment, sadness, fear, but there were pleasant ones too. The satisfying ones were always the ones that left her most unsettled. She shuddered and cleared her throat.

"You always miss the best parts," he mumbled around a mouthful of popcorn, his eyes never leaving the screen.

She shook her head, scowling at the kernels tumbling down. She cleared her throat again and tried to shift her body, straighten herself out into a position more poised, more her. Maybe put some distance between them, so that the crackling electricity that seemed to be a permanent force between them didn't feel so overpowering. She didn't expect to feel his arm tighten around her. It took her by surprise and for a brief minute she wondered if he realized he had even did it. After another unsuccessful attempt at squirming she realized he did. She glanced up at him, his jaw relaxed for a change, free of the tension that it tends to hold throughout the day. Five o'clock shadow in full effect. His hair was untamed, not perfectly coifed and 'girly' like it typically was. His eyes were clear and devoid of the usual burning intensity or enigmatic quality that haunted them, and his relaxed shoulders didn't appear as though they were holding the weight of the world upon them like they usually did. She sighed softly and it was as if her body was moving on its own accord, she found herself burrowing deeper beneath the covers and closer to him.

"It's not over yet," he said softly, in a hushed tone as his eyes flickered over the screen.

She took the statement for all the multiple meanings and implications that lay behind it, as she looked up and smiled fondly at him.

"I know," she replied, snaking her hand from beneath the blanket and burying it into the mostly empty bowl. "You ate all the popcorn!"

"You were asleep," he shot back, peering at her out of the corner of his eye just in time to see her fling a few kernels his way. She was attempting to pelt him in his too perfect face, but of course he managed to catch them in his mouth instead and grinned smugly at her.

"Jackass," she muttered under her breath.

"Hey," he tapped her lightly on the leg. "Finish the movie."

For two hours, they didn't have to let each other go. For two hours, they could just be free.


End file.
